COMMON CHRISTIAN CLICHÉS — A SERIES
Throughout Christian circles, certain phrases are often used to bring comfort and encouragement. But while they may sound spiritual, they can sometimes oversimplify deep struggles and leave people feeling unheard. In this series, we explore common Christian clichés, uncover their limitations, and offer a more compassionate, faith-filled approach to true healing.
It’s one of the most common phrases in Christian circles: “You just need to forgive and move on.”
While forgiveness is deeply biblical and undeniably powerful, this phrase can sometimes feel dismissive. If you’ve been deeply hurt—by betrayal, abuse, or abandonment—being told to just forgive and move on can feel impossible, even wounding.
So what does true, biblical forgiveness look like? And how do we move forward without pretending the pain never happened?
The Challenge: When Forgiveness Feels Like Forgetting
Many people assume that forgiveness means minimising the hurt, forgetting the offence, or reconciling with the person who caused the pain. But that’s not what Scripture teaches. Forgiveness isn’t about pretending something didn’t happen—it’s about releasing the burden of resentment so that you can heal.
Jesus Himself demonstrated forgiveness, but He never ignored the reality of sin. He acknowledged wrongdoing and still extended grace. He said in Luke 6:37:
“Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing” (MSG).
Forgiveness brings freedom—but that doesn’t mean rushing the process or bypassing necessary boundaries.
A New Approach: Forgiveness as a Journey
Instead of seeing forgiveness as a single act or a forced expectation, consider it a journey—one that unfolds with truth, grace, and wisdom.
1. Acknowledge the Hurt
Before we can truly forgive, we need to be honest about the depth of our pain. Suppressing emotions or pretending something didn’t hurt only prolongs the healing process.
The Psalms are filled with raw, unfiltered expressions of pain: “I’m tired of all this—so tired. My bed has been floating forty days and nights on the flood of my tears” (Psalm 6:6, MSG). God welcomes our honest emotions.
2. Understand What Forgiveness Is (And Isn’t)
Forgiveness is:
Releasing bitterness so that you can heal
Trusting God with justice instead of seeking revenge
Making peace with the past so it doesn’t define your future
Forgiveness is not:
Forgetting what happened
Excusing harmful behaviour
Automatically restoring trust or relationship
Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, yet He didn’t ignore their wrongdoing. We can forgive while still holding people accountable.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
Forgiving someone does not mean allowing them continued access to your life. If someone has been toxic, abusive, or unrepentant, boundaries are not only wise—they are necessary.
Proverbs 4:23 reminds us: “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts” (MSG). Protecting yourself from further harm is part of stewarding the life God has given you.
4. Invite God Into the Healing Process
Forgiveness isn’t just about our strength—it’s about allowing God to do the work within us. When it feels impossible to forgive, we can pray honestly:
“God, I don’t feel ready to forgive, but I want to. Help me.”
Jesus reminds us in Matthew 11:28: “Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest” (MSG). Healing is not instant, but step by step, God can soften even the hardest wounds.
5. Seek Support for the Journey
Healing from deep wounds is not something we’re meant to do alone. Trusted friends, mentors, or a faith-based counsellor can help you process pain in a healthy, biblical way.
Galatians 6:2 encourages us: “Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law” (MSG).
If you’re struggling with the weight of unforgiveness, don’t carry it alone—support is available.
You Don’t Have to Walk This Path Alone
If you’ve been hurt and are wrestling with what forgiveness looks like, know that you are not alone. Our online counselling services provide a safe, faith-based space to process your pain, set boundaries, and move forward with wisdom and grace.
Forgiveness is not about erasing the past—it’s about reclaiming your peace and trusting God with the rest. And step by step, you will find healing.