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We label ourselves as “busy mums,” “successful professionals,” or “anxious,” perhaps even wearing those labels like a badge of honour or a badge of shame. We might label others too—”the strong one,” “the quiet one,” or “the difficult one.” These labels often come with expectations or assumptions that can feel both comforting and confining.
But what if the labels we wear and the ones we place on others are restricting us in ways we may not fully understand?
As Christian women, we can be quick to identify ourselves by what we do or what others think of us. “I am a teacher,” “I am a caregiver,” “I am a wife or a mother,” and on and on. These roles are important, but are they the full picture of who we are? More importantly, are they how God sees us?
Jesus offers a different perspective, reminding us of the importance of our identity in Him, not in our labels.
The Dangers of Labelling
Labels, while convenient, can trap us in a static narrative that limits our ability to grow and change. When we accept a label, whether it’s one others have placed on us or one we’ve chosen for ourselves, we may subconsciously believe that this is the sum total of who we are. "I am anxious," "I am depressed," "I am a failure." These labels can restrict our freedom, keeping us locked in place, unable to evolve or heal. It’s easy to fall into the trap of defining ourselves solely by our struggles, limiting beliefs, or past experiences.
We also face the danger of a label becoming a prescriptive agenda for our lives. When we accept a label like “insignificant,” it can subtly shift from a simple description to an internal narrative that shapes our actions and attitudes. We may begin to believe, "I’m insignificant, therefore I don’t have anything to offer," leading to a sense of paralysis or withdrawal. Instead of being a neutral tag, this label takes on a directive role, guiding our thoughts and decisions, ultimately dictating our behaviour. We might convince ourselves that we are unworthy of contributing, withdrawing from opportunities to serve, grow, or make a difference. Over time, this narrative can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, restricting our potential and hindering our growth.
Jesus, however, does not see us as these labels. He sees the potential for transformation, for healing, and for renewal. As we read in 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" We are not defined by the labels of yesterday, nor are we bound by the limitations of what we think we are.
When we begin to see ourselves through God's eyes, the possibility for change and growth becomes boundless. This is where counselling techniques like Narrative Therapy can be transformative. By rewriting our stories and reclaiming our narrative, we can shed the restrictive labels we’ve accepted for too long and step into the fullness of who God created us to be.
The Role of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be a powerful tool in helping us identify and challenge the unhelpful labels we’ve internalised. Often, our thoughts about ourselves—our self-beliefs—can become ingrained over time, like a script that we follow without questioning. CBT encourages us to examine these thoughts critically, to ask ourselves: “Is this label true? Is it helpful? Is it serving the life I want to live?”
Through CBT, we learn to reframe negative or limiting beliefs, to replace them with truths that align more closely with the identity we have in Christ. Instead of believing, “I am not good enough,” we can come to understand the truth of who we are in Jesus: loved, forgiven, and fully accepted. The process of rewiring our thoughts and beliefs brings profound freedom, as we begin to live from a new perspective—one shaped by God's love and grace, not by the labels others or we have placed on ourselves.
Who Am I Beyond My Labels?
So, what happens when we start to let go of the labels that have defined us? What does it look like to step into the fullness of our identity as children of God? When we move beyond what we do (e.g., dentist, teacher, mother), what we look like, or even what we believe about ourselves, we uncover a deeper, more expansive truth about our identity.
Our identity is not wrapped up in titles or roles—it’s rooted in the fact that we are beloved daughters of the Creator. No matter what we’ve done or what others think of us, we are defined by God's love for us. The apostle John writes, "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1).
This means our significance doesn’t come from the things we accomplish or the labels others place on us—it comes from the love of the One who calls us His own. Our purpose, value, and worth are not contingent on our achievements, personality types, or ethnicity, but on the fact that we are chosen, redeemed, and deeply loved by God.
Restorying the Narrative
If you find yourself struggling with the labels that have been placed on you—whether by others or by your own mind—it’s time to rewrite your story. Through therapeutic techniques like Narrative Therapy, you can begin to change the dominant story you’ve been telling yourself. You don’t have to remain trapped in a story of "failure," "anxiety," or "guilt." You can restory your life, shifting the focus from what has happened to what God is doing in and through you.
This process involves acknowledging the power of the labels and narratives you’ve accepted, then choosing to replace them with truths that align with God's Word. You are not your past mistakes, your job title, or your struggles. You are a beloved child of God, created with purpose, and destined for a life of peace, growth, and transformation.
Embracing Your True Identity
When you feel weighed down by the labels of this world, remember this: your identity is secure in Christ. You are not defined by your difficulties, your roles, or the opinions of others. You are first and foremost a child of God, loved and cherished by the Creator of the universe.
Each day, as you engage in prayer, reflection, or healthy connection, remind yourself of this truth. Let it be the foundation of your self-narrative. As you rewrite your story, step into the freedom that comes with embracing your true identity—one that transcends all labels and embraces the fullness of who you are in Christ.
If you’re feeling lost or trapped by the labels you’ve been carrying, counselling can offer a space to explore these dynamics. Narrative Therapy and CBT are valuable tools in helping you uncover the truth of who you are, not based on labels, but on the love and purpose God has for your life.
If you're looking for extra support, I offer online counselling for Christian women—integrating narrative therapy (storywork) with cognitive behavioural therapy, and at times, therapeutic art.
You're warmly invited to explore your counselling options here.