Blog
When to Persevere in Love
As Christian women, we often feel torn between being loving and setting boundaries. We want to reflect Christ’s love, yet we sometimes find ourselves drained, hurt, or even trapped in relationships that no longer bring life. The good news? Jesus himself showed us that there are times to walk away—and times to persevere. Knowing the difference is key to living in both wisdom and love.
When It’s Okay to Set Boundaries and Walk Away
Jesus was full of compassion, but he also demonstrated that love does not mean endless tolerance of harmful behaviour. Here are times when it’s healthy to set boundaries—or even walk away completely:
1. When Someone Repeatedly Rejects the Truth
Jesus sent out his disciples with this instruction:
“If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.” (Matthew 10:14)
We are called to share the truth in love, but we are not responsible for making people accept it. If someone persistently rejects godly wisdom or refuses to respect you, it’s okay to step away. Walking away doesn’t mean you lack faith—it means you trust God to work in their heart without enabling their behaviour.
2. When a Relationship Becomes Toxic or Abusive
Jesus confronted the Pharisees when they twisted Scripture for their own gain, calling them “blind guides” and warning others not to follow them (Matthew 23:24). He didn’t stay and argue endlessly—he set boundaries and exposed their deception.
If a relationship constantly drains your peace, manipulates your emotions, or harms your well-being, staying may not be the godly choice. Love does not mean enduring abuse—love means standing in truth. It is okay to remove yourself from toxic environments.
3. When Someone Demands From You Without Reciprocity
Jesus helped many people, but he didn’t let everyone drain him. In John 6, after feeding the five thousand, crowds followed him not because they wanted him but because they wanted more food or miracles. Jesus confronted their motives and withdrew. He chose not to cater to their superficial expectations, prioritising truth over popularity (John 6:26, 66).
If someone only reaches out when they need something but refuses to invest in a mutual relationship, it may be time to set boundaries. We are called to love, but not to be endlessly used.
4. When Following Christ Requires It
There are times when walking away isn’t about protecting yourself—it’s about following God’s call. Jesus walked away from his hometown when they refused to believe in him (Mark 6:4-6). Paul and Barnabas separated when their missions took them in different directions (Acts 15:36-40).
Sometimes, obedience to God means letting go of relationships, ministries, or even familiar places. It’s not rejection—it’s redirection.
When It’s Right to Persevere and Stay Faithful
While some relationships require boundaries, others require endurance. Here are times when God calls us to persevere in love:
1. When Growth Is Possible
Paul’s letters are filled with encouragement to be patient with others. He tells the Galatians:
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfil the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
If a relationship is difficult but has the potential for growth—whether it’s a struggling friendship, marriage, or family tie—it may be worth fighting for. If both people are willing to seek healing, restoration is possible.
2. When Love Requires Sacrifice
Jesus stayed faithful to his disciples even when they failed him. Peter denied him three times, yet Jesus restored him (John 21:15-17).
Not every failure means we should give up on someone. If someone is willing to change and take responsibility, love calls us to extend grace—just as Jesus does for us.
3. When God Calls Us to Be a Light
Paul remained in many difficult places to spread the Gospel. He told the Corinthians:
“Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)
If you’re in a situation where God is working in and through you to influence others—such as in a difficult workplace or a challenging ministry—it may not be time to leave just yet. God may have a purpose in keeping you there.
Love with Wisdom
God does not call us to stay in destructive situations, nor does he call us to give up too soon. The key is seeking his wisdom. If you’re unsure whether to set a boundary or stay and persevere, ask yourself:
Is this relationship drawing me closer to God or away from him?
Am I enabling harmful behaviour, or am I being patient in love?
Is there hope for change, or is this a pattern of unrepentant harm?
Ultimately, setting boundaries is not unloving—it is choosing to love wisely. And when God calls you to persevere, he will give you the strength to do so.
May you walk forward in both grace and truth, knowing that love is not just about staying—it’s about staying where God calls you and walking away when he leads you elsewhere.
Journaling Reflections: Setting Boundaries & Persevering in Love
1. When to Set Boundaries and Walk Away
Have you ever felt drained or used in a relationship? How did you respond?
Is there a situation where you sense God calling you to set a boundary? What fears or hesitations arise?
Reflect on John 6:26-66. Jesus withdrew when people sought him for the wrong reasons. How does this challenge or affirm your own boundaries?
How can you differentiate between self-protection and spirit-led wisdom in setting boundaries?
2. When to Persevere in Love
Think of a relationship where you've struggled but sensed God calling you to stay. What fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) could be cultivated through perseverance?
Peter denied Jesus, yet Jesus restored him. Have you experienced restoration in a strained relationship? What was required for healing?
How do you know when you’re showing Christ-like patience versus enabling harmful behaviour?
Are there relationships where you've given up too soon? What, if anything, would you do differently now?
3. Seeking God’s Wisdom
Read Matthew 10:14 and 1 Corinthians 15:58. How do these verses help you discern whether to walk away or remain steadfast?
Is there a difficult relationship or situation you need to surrender to God? Write a prayer asking for clarity, courage, and peace.
What would it look like for you to love with wisdom in your current season?
These reflections will help readers personally engage with the themes of your blog and apply them in real life. Let me know if you’d like any refinements!
Moving Forward: Finding Clarity and Strength
If you’re struggling to discern whether to set a boundary or persevere in love, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Establishing healthy boundaries while remaining faithful to God’s call requires wisdom, healing, and support.
As a registered counsellor, I offer a safe space to help you process your experiences, gain clarity, and develop the confidence to walk in both love and wisdom. If you’d like personalised support in this journey, I’d love to walk alongside you.
➡ Click here to learn more or book a session with me.
You are not alone. God is with you, and you have permission to protect your peace while following His call.