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Holding Onto Jesus in a Time of Scandal
Heartbreak seems to be everywhere. Every week, another story surfaces—church leaders caught in scandal, hidden abuse coming to light, or manipulative power plays within communities meant to be safe.
For those who love God and long for His Church to be a place of truth and refuge, it’s devastating.
How do you hold onto your faith when the very people who were meant to represent Christ betray that trust?
How do you keep your heart clear and free from bitterness, yet also wise and discerning?
If you’ve been wrestling with these questions, you’re not alone.
A Broken Church is Nothing New
Pain in the Church is not a modern problem. Even in the New Testament, the early church struggled with deep issues—sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 5:1-2), leaders twisting the gospel for personal gain (2 Peter 2:1-3), division (1 Corinthians 1:10-13), and abuse of power (3 John 9-10). Paul grieved over false teachers misleading the people, and Jesus Himself rebuked the religious elite who burdened others with rules while neglecting justice, mercy, and faithfulness (Matthew 23:23-28).
The Church has always been imperfect because people are imperfect. But Jesus? He remains unchanged—faithful, loving, and true. When church leaders fall, it doesn’t mean Christ has failed. It means humans have once again misused what was meant to be sacred.
Tending to the Wound Without Losing Your Heart
When trust is broken, healing doesn’t come through avoidance or forced positivity. It comes through honest processing, grieving, and realigning your focus on Jesus rather than flawed institutions. Here’s how you can walk through the pain without losing your sweetness:
Acknowledge the hurt – Denying or minimising what’s happened won’t make it go away. It’s okay to feel sorrow, anger, and betrayal. Jesus Himself wept over corruption in His Father’s house (Luke 19:41-46).
Grieve with God – The pain you feel matters to Him. Bring your raw emotions to Jesus—He is not afraid of them. The Psalms are filled with honest cries of anguish, yet they always return to trust in God’s justice and goodness (Psalm 73 is a powerful example).
Separate Christ from broken people – The failures of leaders do not define who Jesus is. He is the Good Shepherd (John 10:11-15), and He will never manipulate, abandon, or exploit you.
Find a safe space to process – Healing happens in safe and supportive spaces. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, or professional counselling, don’t carry this burden alone. Talking with someone who understands faith and trauma can help you process your experiences and establish new, healthy rhythms.
Set wise boundaries – Forgiveness does not mean blind trust. Jesus calls us to be “wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). It’s not unloving to establish distance from unhealthy or unsafe environments. In fact, it’s necessary for healing.
What Does This Verse Mean?
This phrase comes from Jesus’ instructions to His disciples as He sends them out into a hostile world. He tells them to be as shrewd as serpents—discerning, strategic, and cautious—while remaining as pure-hearted as doves—gentle, sincere, and committed to righteousness.
• Be Wise About Who You Trust – Not everyone in leadership is operating with Christ-like intentions. We must be discerning about who we follow, ensuring that their words and actions align with the teachings of Jesus.
• Set Healthy Boundaries – Wisdom means stepping away from toxic environments, confronting wrongdoing with discernment, and refusing to be complicit in spiritual manipulation.
• Remain Pure of Heart – It’s easy to let disappointment harden our hearts, but Jesus calls us to hold onto love and truth without becoming jaded.
• Know When to Speak and When to Step Away – Jesus Himself sometimes confronted religious leaders directly, while at other times He withdrew from those plotting against Him (Luke 4:28-30, Matthew 21:12-13). Both wisdom and innocence require knowing how to respond to corruption.
Keep your love alive – Bitterness is a heavy burden. While we must reject abuse and hypocrisy, we don’t have to let it steal our ability to love well. Holding onto grace, while also holding people accountable, reflects Jesus’ heart.
Practice Forgiveness and Extend Grace – Forgiveness is not excusing harm, nor does it mean reconciling with those who remain unrepentant. Instead, it’s releasing the weight of bitterness so it doesn’t consume you. Jesus exemplified this on the cross, saying, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Forgiveness allows your heart to heal, and grace enables you to move forward without being tethered to past pain.
Does Loving One Another Mean Accepting Sin and Abuse?
Absolutely not. True love confronts sin with truth, not silence. Jesus loved sinners, but He never excused sin. He exposed hypocrisy, protected the vulnerable, and called for repentance (John 8:1-11, Matthew 18:6). Love does not mean enabling corruption or remaining in toxic environments. It means standing for what is right, while refusing to let hatred or cynicism take root in our hearts.
Establishing New Rhythms of Trust and Peace
If your trust has been shattered by church scandal, you may feel hesitant to engage with Christian community again. That’s understandable. Healing takes time. But as you walk this journey, consider these gentle steps:
Find small, trustworthy spaces – Instead of jumping back into large institutions, start with smaller, more personal faith connections—healthy friendships, home groups, quiet retreats, or one-on-one mentoring.
Rebuild at your own pace – Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel hopeful; other days, the wounds will sting. That’s normal to have human emotions. Keep processing, gently.
Focus on the simplicity of Jesus’ presence – Before the Church was ever a structure, it was people gathered around Jesus. Spend time in Scripture, worship, and prayer, letting Him restore your faith.
Seek support where needed – If the pain feels overwhelming, consider counselling. Having a safe place to process without pressure can make all the difference.
If You Need Counselling Support
If you’re looking for support, I offer online counselling that provides a confidential, compassionate space to work through your experience. Whether you’re grieving, setting boundaries, or rebuilding trust, you don’t have to walk this road alone.
Jesus’ invitation remains the same: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
He is not like those who have failed you. His heart is always good, always safe, and always for you.
Wounded by a church, leader, or faith community? If spiritual abuse, legalism, or church hurt has left you feeling lost, disillusioned, or afraid to trust again—there is hope.